Under an option now being explored by regulators, the obligation to maintain a share of European works could shift from the platform to the person. Streaming services already have to reserve a proportion of their catalogue for European production; the paper asks the obvious follow-up question, which is whether anybody presses play. The unit of compliance would become the household rather than the distributor.
The mechanics would look undemanding on paper. Each subscription would carry a rolling monthly target expressed as a share of viewing minutes. A dubbed Danish crime series would count. A documentary about a reservoir, made in a smaller language market, would count twice under a weighting the drafters describe as proportionate and the industry would describe, within a week, as the reservoir clause.
Enforcement would be gentle to the point of being barely enforcement at all. Each household would receive a monthly compliance summary by email: European share, target, and three suggestions underneath. No penalty, no register, no consequence. Just a figure, delivered in the tone a utility uses when your consumption is slightly above the neighbourhood average.
The paper anticipates hardship and provides for it. A household could apply for a temporary reduction on grounds of hospitalisation, bereavement or a newborn, with the grace period running to the end of the following quarter. An annex clarifies that the newborn's own viewing does not count toward the household target — a clarification requested during the consultation, apparently in earnest.
The cultural argument would be stronger than its critics allow. The current rule keeps European work on the shelf and says very little about whether it reaches the room. A quota of presence is cheap; a quota of attention is not. The unresolved objection is that attention has never been a substance any regulator has successfully rationed, and that the last authority to try was working with coupons and a much smaller catalogue.
Platforms would raise no serious objection, because a viewing target is a recommendation problem and recommendation is the one part of the industry that reliably works. Within a season the interface would be rearranged so that the compliant option arrives first, at the top, already playing. The household would meet its target without noticing — which is either the elegance of the design or the entire problem with it.
What the paper does not resolve is the question raised in its own footnote: whether a film watched in order to satisfy a quota is being watched at all. The drafters describe this as falling outside the scope of the review, and move on to the definition of a viewing minute, which occupies the next eleven pages.
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A European museum could complete a restitution and keep the 3D scan it made the week before shipping. The object would travel. The file would stay, licensed by the institution that gave the object back.
Museums may soon rent you the ninety percent nobody sees
A national collection working from a frozen grant could open its storerooms to monthly subscribers. The package would include a humidity sensor, an insurance excess, and a waiting list that forms for the basement rather than the galleries.
Still laughing
We made it up. Then reality caught up.
What we wrote
We wrote it in 2021
One day the junior developer's main skill could be describing the problem clearly enough for the machine to solve it.
What actually happened
Reality caught up in 2025
AI coding assistants are built into mainstream development tools, and producing code from a plain-language description is now a routine part of professional software work.
Vendor product documentation and developer surveys on assistant adoption.
The joke was the job description. The job description was updated.
MISTAKE
TOMORROW, DELIVERED TODAY.
One email a week. The future, before it files a press release.
Worst case: you laugh. Best case: we predicted the future.
