The world's institutions may meet only when the dues clear
A draft internal circular would schedule sessions, interpretation and mandates against contributions actually received. It is four pages long, contains no complaint, and would change more than most reform proposals.
A finance circular drafted for internal discussion at a large international organisation would formalise what its cash flow already imposes: meetings, interpretation and mandated reporting would be scheduled against contributions received rather than contributions pledged. The document does not describe this as a crisis measure. It describes it as an alignment of the calendar with the ledger.
The mechanism is simple. Each mandated activity would carry a funding state — covered, partially covered, deferred — updated as assessed contributions arrive. Activities in the third state would not be cancelled. They would be held, which in the vocabulary of the circular means that they remain fully mandated, fully scheduled and not currently happening.
Interpretation would be the first visible effect. A session conducted in six languages costs more than the same session in two, so under the model the number of languages available in a room would depend on when its members paid. The circular notes this without comment, in a table, in a section headed Service levels.
“No delegation is being penalised,” the covering note would state. “A delegation that has paid in full receives no more than its entitlement, and a delegation that has not receives no less. Entitlements are unaffected. Only dates are affected.”
The arithmetic of arrears would create an influence the document never names. A contributor that pays late is not a contributor that pays less. It is a contributor that decides, without voting on anything, which quarter of the year the organisation is able to function in — and the circular's own annex on cash-flow management makes that point more precisely than any member state would dare to in a plenary.
The personnel annex is where the cost stops being procedural. Recruitment would be paused, vacant posts held open, temporary contracts allowed to expire on their own terms. The circular refers throughout to post reductions rather than to people, which is standard practice, and lists affected functions alphabetically, with the result that archives and audit appear at the top of the page.
Nothing in the document is angry, which is its most striking feature. It names no one, blames nothing and proposes no reform. It simply schedules multilateral diplomacy the way a utility schedules a household in arrears: service maintained in principle, restored on payment, and in the meantime a column headed overdue that grows quietly at the right-hand edge of every page.
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Still laughing
We made it up. Then reality caught up.
What we wrote
We wrote it in 2021
One day the junior developer's main skill could be describing the problem clearly enough for the machine to solve it.
What actually happened
Reality caught up in 2025
AI coding assistants are built into mainstream development tools, and producing code from a plain-language description is now a routine part of professional software work.
Vendor product documentation and developer surveys on assistant adoption.
The joke was the job description. The job description was updated.
MISTAKE
TOMORROW, DELIVERED TODAY.
One email a week. The future, before it files a press release.
Worst case: you laugh. Best case: we predicted the future.
