MISTAKE

The open web may start charging machines at the door

A mid-sized publisher would switch on per-request pricing for automated readers. The first week's report would show that ninety-four percent of its audience is machine — and that this is the only part of the audience that pays.

SATIRENext year4 min read
A publisher's traffic dashboard at night where the human audience line has flattened beneath a rising column of machine requests.

The change would take one afternoon and a toggle. A mid-sized publisher, tired of arguing about crawlers, would switch on per-request pricing for automated readers: a fraction of a cent per page, payable at the door, invoiced monthly. The rate would be set low enough to feel unserious.

The first week's report would be the part that reorganises the business. Ninety-four percent of requests would come from machines. The finance director would ask the analytics team to check the figure, then to check it again excluding search indexers, then to stop excluding anything at all — because the excluded traffic would be the traffic that paid.

The resulting revenue line would be small and structurally unlike everything above it. A machine reader arrives at any hour, reads everything, sees no advertisement, subscribes to nothing, complains about nothing, writes to no one, and never returns to the same page twice. That is exactly why it would be cheaper to serve than a human, and worth more per visit.

The editorial consequence would be raised at the third meeting and left unresolved at the fourth. If the paying audience does not click, does not scroll and has no face, then the metric system the newsroom has optimised against for fifteen years describes a readership that no longer pays for anything. The question — what do we write for a reader who never reads twice — would go into the minutes and stay there.

“We are not charging for journalism,” the publisher's commercial director would be expected to say. “We are charging for access to a file. Whether the file is worth the money is a matter for the buyer, and for the first time in twenty years the buyer would have to decide before reading.”

The obvious risk would be that the machines stop coming. The less obvious one is that they would not, and that a price would then be discovered — publicly, per request, across thousands of sites. The open web would acquire the one thing it has never had: a market rate. Everything currently free would be given one by comparison.

Nothing here is settled, and the toggle is more interesting than the numbers behind it. But a business that spent two decades measuring an audience it could not charge would finally be measuring one it could, and would find that this audience is larger, faster, and entirely indifferent to what the story was about.

This story is satire: it describes a hypothetical future, not a real event.

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AI20212025

What we wrote

We wrote it in 2021

One day the junior developer's main skill could be describing the problem clearly enough for the machine to solve it.

What actually happened

Reality caught up in 2025

AI coding assistants are built into mainstream development tools, and producing code from a plain-language description is now a routine part of professional software work.

Vendor product documentation and developer surveys on assistant adoption.

The joke was the job description. The job description was updated.

How close we were88%

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