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Your commute may be over budget by Thursday

Under a scheme that one of the larger professional-services firms could adopt as early as next year, the daily journey to the office would be charged against a personal carbon allowance rather than a travel card. The allowance would be set annually, tracked in real time and, according to the small print, non-refundable.

Written as a scenario. Nothing in it has happened.

Lifestyle4 min read

Desk 4B, third floor, window side: £0.00 per day. Beneath the price, in grey text sized for nobody, the booking screen would carry the terms. Price includes a commute allowance of 1.2 kilograms of carbon dioxide equivalent per attendance. Journeys exceeding the allowance would be deducted from the employee's annual personal carbon budget. Budgets do not roll over. Cycling credits are non-transferable and expire at the end of the quarter. Employees attending on foot would be asked to confirm that they had not been driven part of the way. Desk 4B, the terms would conclude, is a shared resource and must be vacated by 17:30.

The proposal would give every employee a carbon budget for the year, calculated from the firm's net-zero commitment divided by headcount, with an adjustment for seniority that the terms do not fully explain. Each swipe of the entry gate would trigger a query to the employee's registered postcode, a routing engine and a table of emissions factors. A train journey would cost a little. A car journey would cost a great deal. A car journey undertaken because the train had been cancelled would cost the same, since the ledger, in the words of its own help page, does not record excuses.

Helen Marsh, a payroll administrator who lives forty minutes from her office by road and two hours by any other means, would find that her budget covers attendance on Mondays, Tuesdays and roughly half of Wednesday. “I asked what happens at lunchtime on Wednesday,” she said. “They said the gate would still let me out.” Her manager would suggest she work the remainder of the week from a café nearer the office, where the emissions would be the café's problem. She would begin sitting in the car park to take calls, which the ledger classifies as attendance and charges accordingly.

The scheme would sit alongside the firm's attendance policy, which requires three days in the office a week. The two documents would not reference each other. Staff whose budgets ran out before the third day would be marked absent by one system and compliant by the other, a state the human-resources platform would display as an amber dot. Amber dots would be reviewed quarterly. Employees who moved closer to the office would receive a one-off top-up, provided the move was not itself driven, and provided the new address was inside a zone the firm had not yet defined.

A secondary market would be expected to emerge within weeks. Staff who cycled would accumulate credits they could not spend, and staff who drove would run out by the second week of each month. The terms forbid transfers, which is why the transfers would take place in the kitchen. “I've sold three Thursdays to a man in accounts,” said Tomasz Bielak, who lives above a bike shop. “He pays in coffee and I don't ask what he does with them.” The firm's compliance team would investigate reports of credit trading and conclude that it could not, under the terms, be done.

Transport operators would adapt. A regional rail company could offer a budget-neutral season ticket, priced slightly above the normal one, on which the carbon would be offset by a woodland the passenger would never be asked to visit. Ride-sharing apps would add a field for the passenger's employer and split the emissions between everyone in the car, including the driver, who was going that way anyway. The buses would remain buses. Their emissions factor would be published on a laminated card beside the driver's cab and updated, according to the card, whenever the card was replaced.

A director of workplace strategy at the firm, speaking on condition that the firm not be identified, said the scheme was about visibility rather than punishment. Employees would be able to see, on a dashboard, the precise cost of their choices, and to compare it with colleagues who had made different ones. Asked whether the dashboard would also show the emissions of the office itself, which is heated whether anyone attends or not, the director said that this figure would be shown separately, in a section the pilot did not yet include.

By the end of the first year, the firm would report a measurable fall in commuting emissions, driven principally by staff who had stopped commuting after Wednesday. The attendance policy would be amended to define a day in the office as any period exceeding forty minutes. Helen Marsh would receive a certificate recognising her contribution to the firm's climate goals, printed on recycled card and posted to her home address, at a cost the ledger would record against her.

This story is satire: it describes a hypothetical future, not a real event.

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AI20212025

What we wrote

We wrote it in 2021

One day the junior developer's main skill could be describing the problem clearly enough for the machine to solve it.

What actually happened

Reality caught up in 2025

AI coding assistants are built into mainstream development tools, and producing code from a plain-language description is now a routine part of professional software work.

Vendor product documentation and developer surveys on assistant adoption.

The joke was the job description. The job description was updated.

How close we were88%

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