MISTAKE

You may soon need to opt out of your own resurrection

A draft inside a national registry office would make posthumous avatars a matter of recorded consent. Anyone who never filed a declaration would count as available, and families could apply for "silent" status — renewable once a year.

SATIREBy 20405 min read
A registry office filing drawer where a single card carries a small tick box marked "silent", with a renewal date stamped beside it.

A draft circulating inside a national registry office would turn the creation of a speaking, conversational avatar of a dead person into a matter of recorded consent rather than family discretion. Under the proposal, a citizen could file a declaration during their lifetime permitting or refusing posthumous reconstruction, and that declaration would sit on the death record beside the place and the hour.

The difficulty is the default. Almost everyone who has died so far filed nothing, for the excellent reason that there was nothing to file, and the draft resolves this the way administrative drafts usually resolve things: silence becomes permission. A surviving family could apply to have the record marked silent, free of charge, with a thirty-day processing time and a validity of one year.

The renewal clause is the one sentence that makes an otherwise unremarkable document stumble. Silence would expire. A family that missed the window would find the record returned to its default state, and would be free to apply again. The draft justifies this as a safeguard against permanent restrictions imposed by relatives who may themselves no longer be alive — which is reasonable, and is precisely why the word annual ends up sitting next to the word grief.

“We would not be authorising anything,” a spokesperson for the registry would say. “We would be recording a status. If a family does not wish their relative to be reconstructed, the instrument exists, it is free, and it takes eleven minutes. We accept that eleven minutes is not the obstacle. The obstacle is that somebody has to think of it.”

The draft also has to decide who may speak for a person who can no longer speak, and it borrows its order of precedence from inheritance law: spouse, then children, then siblings. This sorts the bereaved by proximity to property rather than proximity to the dead, and the consultation responses point it out repeatedly, in the part of the consultation nobody is obliged to read.

Bereavement specialists would raise a second objection. What separates a reconstruction from a photograph, a recording or a video is that it answers back, and it answers in a voice that is close enough to be believed and wrong often enough to hurt. The draft has no position on this, because a registry office has no instrument for whether something is good for you. It has an instrument for whether it is permitted.

No law has been proposed and no minister has seen the file. The components, though, are already on the market, and the state did not put them there. Its only contribution so far would be to decide what happens when nobody says anything — which, in administrative matters, is the whole of the decision.

This story is satire: it describes a hypothetical future, not a real event.

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What we wrote

We wrote it in 2021

One day the junior developer's main skill could be describing the problem clearly enough for the machine to solve it.

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Reality caught up in 2025

AI coding assistants are built into mainstream development tools, and producing code from a plain-language description is now a routine part of professional software work.

Vendor product documentation and developer surveys on assistant adoption.

The joke was the job description. The job description was updated.

How close we were88%

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